(no subject)

[contrarianarchon]

I think I've fucked up my discord usage somewhere. It's becoming more and more the social media thing of just being an attention-sink, hundreds of people and conversations to track and track and track and not at all like, something I can participate in. I don't really know what to do about that. Probably the answer is "Acknowledge I can't follow all these goings-ons and drop out of a some communities where my presence is only tenuous entirely" but I do so hate that.

... I feel in general like I've gotten bad at having good conversations in the past months. Maybe since during norway? Not sure. Still, socializing feels like a lot of obligation and grind to many different people rather than like, doing cool things with the people I like best. I'm reminded of that one SCC post about finding your tribe and the advantages of that over friendship by just finding the ten coolest people and trying to be friends with them but I feel pulled between a dozen tribes and don't like any of them as tribes, rather than as places where cool people I consider friends are. IDK. I don't really know what to do. Try and talk to people, I guess. I think these are issues I've always had but I've felt unrewarded WRT them lately. Maybe it's an illusion of some form, and interesting things are still happening to me but the shape of my thoughts it wrong for me to see it. Still, there feels like a problem, and that needs a solution. Ideas/Insights welcome.

Comments

[potofsoup]

oh man hardsame! I'm bad at text-based synchronous hangouts to begin with, and being in a dozen discords makes it worse -- it's like being at 10 different dinner parties at once, each with a different set of social norms. My current solution is not great, but basically I have a server that is focused around an event that I'm running, which allows me to really set the norms and interactions to the way I want it (mostly focused around creating art and fic for the event), and for everything else, I'm just defaulting to one-on-one asynchronous DMs with people on Discord. The asynchronous expectation helps me a lot, and the one-on-one helps me feel less like I'm at 10 dinner parties. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[contrarianarchon]

10 different dinner parties at once is exactly the vibe! I do need to try and have more async conversations with my friends rather than just kinda staring at the communities I met them in and never talking, that's a good idea.

(... also I need to go do things for *my* big project server)